The first thing: At the moment, I am fragile. Everything I do, say, see...pretty much makes me emotional. Which is fine...feeling this way is perfectly normal given the situation. A huge chunk...or well...my entire heart is with him. And that's okay...he's allowed to have it. At the moment...this is totally fine. And in fact...I'm holding on to him for awhile. He's a huge part of my life and always will. With time...I know that we'll both gain the strength to be 2 strong individuals.
This whole time I was telling myself that I was okay. That all I needed to do was go on this trip and let loose and leave all of my worries behind. But to be honest, my friends...that's not going to happen. This transition is going to be a major struggle. I need to stop trying to deny that everything is going to get better right now! I need to just live with what feelings I am feeling right now. I am allowed to be angry. I am allowed to still think of him. I'm allowed to be sad. I'm allowed to remember. I'm allowed to smile. I'm allowed to be happy. I'm allowed to mess up. I'm allowed to freakin' cry!
So for now...if I need to cry...I'm going to. I'm going to cry. Cause folks, after all of this...I'm going to be a stronger person. Hands down. I will be a stronger person.
The second thing I learned: http://communication.sdsu.edu/pages/applying.html
Why didn't I realize this earlier in life...or learn about this program? My love for communicating. The patterns of communicating...how the power of communicating enhances relationships. How it can help me become an agent of change. Good change. I can mix the passion of helping, guiding and providing students with the tools to be successful in school and life...I want a career in academe in the area of communications! Read below, from the SDSU Communcations website...or check out the link posted above:
Our M.A. program provides students with the choice of preparing for a career in academe or for developing their research and analytic skills for careers in corporate, nonprofit, and governmental organizations. Instruction is designed to help students discover, analyze, and demonstrate how communication processes are centrally important in creating, shaping, and interpreting quality communities. This program is driven by the close mentorship relationships between faculty and masters' students. Priority is given to the development of students' expertise and skills in each of the following areas:
-Mastery of knowledge and abilities in communication theory and practice.
-Completion of theses that prepare students to become change agents in the career paths they are pursuing.
-Collaboration in research and instructional teams.
-Participation in fieldwork in diverse settings relevant to the social issues being investigated.
-Presentation of scholarly papers at professional conferences.
-Co-authorship of research articles with faculty and other graduate students.
(One of the the best parts about this program)The School of Communication offers new and continuing graduate students the opportunity to teach undergraduate classes, primarily Communication 103 - an introductory course in oral communication.
So people, this will not be an easy thing to get into. We're looking at GRE Test Prep...personal statement, essays...the entire admissions process.
I'm ready for the challenge...when am I not ;)
Here are a few pictures from Miami:
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