According to the Stats

I've been reading about the GRE, every time I read it, I get so anxious. *deep breaths* I just have to take deep breaths. My original plan was to wait for the GRE revised 2011 study guide to come out this December. Then just study for the new exam and take it in August. BUT, this is what I read below (copy pasted from the GRE official website):

Students definitely applying to grad school should take the test now, before it changes. First, test scores are good for five years, so your score on the current GRE will be acceptable for admissions. Second, August 2011 test-takers will have to wait for their scores (on a temporary basis as the new GRE is rolled out), while earlier test-takers get their scores immediately. Finally, the trend over the years is that scores tend to go down after a test change. The last time the GRE went through a major change was in 2002, when the Analytical Ability section was dropped and replaced with an Analytical Writing section. Scores dropped 7 points the following year, and continued to decline for the next five years. Similarly MCAT scores went down after that test became computerized in 2007, and SAT scores went down after a Writing section was added in 2005.

So friends, what does that mean? I will be scheduling a test date for sometime in May or June (so that I have a deadline for myself). Then I will study my butt off! Actually, maybe I will schedule it for either April or May. I have plans to travel to Europe next summer, so I need to do it before I leave.

One step at a time. GRE first.

On another note: it's nice to know that you are all reading my blogs :)

Looks like my readers are more interested in my "break-up/heartache/be strong" entries. According to the stats, the most read blog is "Customer Service Call to Relationship Counselor."

Since the day I wrote that entry...my feelings have been fluctuating. I'd say that yesterday (Friday, 2 weeks in to the break-up), was the hardest. There are moments when I am comfortable with the situation. I'll wake up in the morning understanding that this IS what's best for us. But then, there are many moments when I reflect on what was said the last time I saw him...on Sunday, October 2nd.

He said, "I'm not looking to replace you. I don't WANT to replace you. I DO want us to be together in the end. But it's not fair for me to ask you to wait. In a way I kind of wish I can keep you while I do my thing."

You can never take back words once they have been said. They will ALWAYS be remembered. Especially with me, I have a KILLER memory!

So, here I am...trying to balance out my emotions. I'm grieving and I'm remembering.
I'm crying and I'm caring. I'm angry and I'm getting by. I'm worrying and I'm moving forward.

When I found out that he was actively looking to date other women - wow. Thanks for shitting on my heart - moving on pretty fast. It's all good though, it just makes it easier for me to move on. I understand that everyone has to do what they have to do. And I understand that you have to fill those lonely nights. But people, be true to yourself. Seriously. As my good ol' friend Kyle Rush would always say, "DO YOU." So yes, "do you"...and I'll "do me." I consider myself a resilient woman. I have actually gone through worst situations.

As for me. I'm not ready to date. I'll know when I'm ready. I will. Last week I forced myself to create a Plentyoffish account (free online dating service). Yeah, I deleted it 2 days after creating it. It just didn't feel right. Aaaaaand, all the messages I'd get where from men that didn't fit my "interests." When I put on my profile that I am looking to date a man between the ages of 24-28...I MEAN IT! Ugh!

Right now, what I KNOW feels right...is to focus on my grad school plans. It feels sooooo right! BUT...I'm going to keep my options open as well.

I am still looking into Teach for America. Still debating if I should apply. I've spoken to 2 friends so far, who currently are in the program. I have a few more friends on the list to call. And I should be meeting with a recruiter next week.

Guys, I'm just looking for friendship right now. No dating, no hook-ups...none of that. It's time for Juliet to take care of Juliet. If you want to hang-out and talk grad school, TFA or anything other than dating...we can kick it ;)

Who wants to get together and study for the GRE? I'll make us dinner!!

xoxo